What do I do about my ADHD ODD PDD-NOS 3 year old?!?!?!?

I am about to CHOKE my 3 year old (not literally of course)-he got ONE diagnosis about 8 months ago being ADHD, ODD, PDD NOS from a psychologist, and it has taken me this long (8 months now) to try and get a second opinion-MEANWHILE-my child is evil to animals, refuses to listen to ANYONE, talks back incessantly, "forgets" simple instructions even though he has repeated them back to me and my husband, and now that I'm 8 months pregnant with the 2nd one-I am at my wits end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!鈥?My husband and I have tried time-outs, taking away coveted toys, no TV, no special blankies, no special trips, spankings, coaxing, reverse psychology, rewarding for good behavior, parent-teacher conferences, videoing him when he's acting naughty, etc.....IT SEEMS LIKE NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME AND GIVE EITHER ME OR MY SON THE HELP I OR HIM NEED. I am SO STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO PUNCH SOMETHING-and I don't like having to spank my kid for him constantly disobeying me over and over and over and over and OVER again!!!!!!!!!!!! Any ideas on how to get SOMEONE to listen to me?!?!?!?!What do I do about my ADHD ODD PDD-NOS 3 year old?!?!?!?
It is difficult to answer any question about a child over the internet, but there could be a few reasons your son is acting as he is. Obviously, it is what is going on in his brain which is causing his difficulties, - an imbalance between two electro-chemical systems. I have seen kids, who for instance produce too much noradrenaline, who have awful attention problems and kids whose malfunctioning dopaminergic systems cause them to be non stop sensory seeking missiles!



He obviously has attention and verbal memory difficulties from what you say and whilst it is difficult to do, we have to remember that both memory and attention don't just develop, - they are learned. - If they are learned then they can be taught, albeit slowly.



Does he suffer any distortions of sensory processing. I have seen children who are under-sensitive in sensory terms, who consequently are non stop, hanging from the chandaliers type children and have consequently been diagnosed with ADHD, when in fact by their behaviour, they are unconsciously seeking to correct the problem they are facing, lack of sensory input! This happens because the structures in the brain which regulate and modulate the input of sensory information from the environment, are not working correctly, - in this case they might be underamplifying it, with the consequence that his behaviour is trying to acheive the opposite; - amplification!



Check him out. If he likes strong visual stimuli, loud noises, lots of tactile stimulation, or lots of vestibular input, it might be that his sensory system needs a programme of retuning, which believe it or not is often possible.
First off discipline is obviously needed in this case as well as expressing your concerns to the doctors until someone listens. You said you have tried different forms of discipline but in order for it to be useful it needs to be consistent. Not something you try and figure isn't working so stop and let the behaviour continue. There is no magic medicine that is going to make him behave..that is up to you as a parent. If he does have a medical condition getting him on treatment is needed ASAP but you still cannot let this behaviour continue and use the excuse that it's a medical thing because it will get way out of hand and he needs to be taught respect now.What do I do about my ADHD ODD PDD-NOS 3 year old?!?!?!?
id probably ask a phychologist, cuz its really bad to be this stressed out, especially when ur pregnant and almost due! just try to be calm around him and try to be understanding, its not his fault and its not urs or ur husbands either.
I wish I could help you. I don't have the answers. Maybe a social worker could help? Maybe counseling? Did something happen at 18 months, anything traumatic. I'm asking 18 months because I'm assuming thats when all this started?



I hear you on getting things done in a timely manner. A pediatrician may be the answer. I could be worth the wait.



In the meantime here's a HUG. I hope it gets better.What do I do about my ADHD ODD PDD-NOS 3 year old?!?!?!?
Consider examining his diet... I know a lot of dyes used in popular kids food have been linked to behavioral problems. Try cutting out dyes and doing some research on it to see if his symptoms fit. Gluten is also a problem. It's worth a shot when you're at your wits end. They put so much crap in the stuff that we eat, I can only imagine all the things it does to people, especially our little ones who's systems are just forming.
I see that you have already gone to a psychologist, but I think you need to go to another one. I don't know where you are located, but if possible, I'd try to go to a psychologist at a well-known children's hospital.



I find it hard to believe that one child would/could have all of those diagnoses. You definitely want to get a second or third opinion.



I'm not completely sure about it, but you may want to look into Autism. You mentioned that he was about 18 months old when this started, so Autism seems like it could be a possibility.



Best of luck to you!
Geeze, you kidnapped my son! First of all, don't spank him. I'm not against it, but if it doesnt help, dont do it. You have to be reallllllly creative with your discipline. The way you word things has a huge influence on his behavior. I suggest removing the animals in your home. I think you are going to have to drive to great distances to find someone that can help. Unfortunately, your baby is next in line to be hurt by your son. See if you can get Social Security for your son, get him declared disabled and the services that will be offered with that title.
Try this booklet for parents about ADHD. It's easy to read and suggests few things you could do.



http://www.fightforkids.org/Psychiatric_鈥?/a>
I totally know where you are coming from. I have a 13 year old who was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 11 years old. He has been physically attacking people ( mostly me) since he was 2 years old.



Take a deep breath. Getting upset does not help either one of you. He really cannot help his behavior. To find some sort of harmony in your life you need to understand what makes him tick. I am fairly certain that he does have some sensory processing issues that are causing some of the behavior. Try reading a book called "the out of sync child". It is all about sensory disfunction and how it can affect behavior. After reading this book I realized that both my sons were just doing what they instinctually NEED to do to feel right. My younger son is a gross motor seeker, so he does things that other kids would get in trouble for like spinning in circles and falling backwards on my waterbed. You might also want to find a book on autism spectrum written for parents. My favorite is "a parents guide to aspergers syndrome and high functioning autism: how to help your child thrive"



Since he is 3 you can contact the local elementary school and talk to whoever is in charge of the program for children with disabilities. My younger son started preschool at the local elementary school the day after he turned 3. He has a speech delay. The school should be able to do a multi-factored evaluation and even request reconrds from all your sons doctors. They are not by law allowed to diagnose, but they can tell you that they suspect something, and give you resources to have an independent evaluation done. I would also contact the local board of developmental disabilities. Not only can they point you in the direction of lots of resources, but your son may be eligable for grant money to help pay for doctors, therapy, equiptment, and even respite care. respite care is basically a babysitter trained to handle children ( and adults) with special needs. Both my sons have these grants. My younger son qualified for sone JUST on his speech delay and gets almost as much as my 13 year old.