-Disciplining my 2 kids ( I am trying, using methods from Supernanny, but having trouble keeping them under control..my son is really ruff with his younger sister, and she screams bloody murder about everything, and they just can't get along). Most of that is cuz she can't talk yet (2 years old)...
- The house is in dis array, a mess. The laundry is so far behind, that there are baskets everywhere of clean or dirty clothes...the house work is behind, and I am having trouble getting caught up. I have a plan of action to get caught up. All planned out so I just do a certain amount everyday, but that certain amoutn doesn't seem to be making much difference.
-I am going to be homeschooling my kids...Am still learning how to start, and all.
-I have a 2 month old girl...
-My husband is against homeschooling, always complains about the house, is always telling me this or that needs to be done, when I already know it does, I just haven't gotten to it yet. He NEVER encourages me, never helps, never tries to understand.
-I am having problems with my blood sugar, it's too low a lot so I need to eat healthier snacks, I am anemic,so i need to up the iron in my diet or get iron pills, and I get migraines. I am always tired and worn out as a result of all this. My energy is always drained, and I feel overwhelmed with all of it like 90% of the time. I get dizzy spells, and am lightheaded a lot. I am on the verge of crying a lot.
-My son (4 years old) has PDD-NOS and autism spectrum disorder. He's high functiioning tho.
-My daughter has a speech delay, verbal apraxia. She can't say words, and that makes for lots of frustrating times.
-My patience is wearing out..I need help and it would be nice if I had some support from my other half. He won't encourage/support or try to help me...Makes ll smart alec remarks about my weight.Chaos on the homefront..HELP!?
Tackle each problem individually. Try not to get overwhelmed by looking at the entire problem. First and most importantly take care of yourself. You know what you have to do. Get your iron pills and stop stocking any junk food in your house. Once you do that look at your meals and start finding ways to make your meals healthier. Find alternative, healthier solutions. In my case I now use Olive Oil in place of other oils or butter/margarine.
For the kids, if they can't play well together try and keep them separate. Every child has something that makes them happy. Try and separate them and give them their own personal activity time.
Make a habit of cleaning as you go. If your house is gotten too far behind consider hiring a service to come in and get you caught up. Even if it is a one time deal. If you don't want to spend the money perhaps you have some friends/family members that would be happy to help you get caught up.
Have your husband take the kids out once a week. My husband takes the kids out on the weekend to the park. Gives me a 3hr window to get caught up on anything I can't while the kids are gone. I even make myself a coffee to enjoy while I'm cleaning and crank up the tunes. As crazy as that sounds its actually very relaxing for me. Take that time to enjoy the silence.
I don't think Super nanny will work with kids on the spectrum. I have a 3 1/2 year old non-verbal autistic son. I am having trouble disciplining him because he doesn't seem to understand anything we say. I also have a 6 month old daughter and diabetes. I can relate where you are coming from. Do you have your 2 year old in an early intervention type of program? My son is in a special needs preschool that our school district is paying for. It gives me a 4 hour break everyday. I only have to take care of my 6 month old daughter and can get some cleaning done. Honestly at this point, it would probably be best to have your 2 oldest in a preschool type of program that early intervention and the school district will pay for so you can get a small break. Everyone needs a break sometimes. I understand the whole homeschooling bit because I will likely home school my son when he reaches elementary school age. If you go through your regional center, you can get respite care with your 2 that are special needs. They can send someone over to watch your 2 while you take care of the little one. I am frustrated too because I don't have any family or friends nearby and I don't drive yet either so I am stuck home a lot. Also the nearest park to me is 2 miles away. I think what some of the others said were right. You need to get to a doctor and get checked out. I really do wish you the best of luck because I couldn't imagine having 3 and 2 with special needs. My 2 are difficult and you must be very brave to survive it.Chaos on the homefront..HELP!?
Okay, let me see if I have this right:
You have: 3 children (2 of which are special needs), a crapload of housework, and you want to homeschool.
On top of alllllll that... you are anemic, and hypoglycemic, which leaves you drained in every possible way.
And the cherry on the sundae, your husband won't pitch in?
You need help. Either he needs to get with the program, or perhaps you could hire someone to come in and help out. Either way, you have to start taking care of yourself.
If you don't take care of yourself... how do you expect to take care of your children? Don't they deserve a mom who is functioning closer to 100% than 50%?
Best advice I can give you, is take care of yourself first. You aren't doing anyone any favors being so run down. Your kids need you.
Edit: If he thinks it's so easy, let him do it! It isn't easy under the best of circumstances. A one time maid, isn't going to much help. You sound totally overwhelmed.
Instead, have you considered hiring a high school student to come over a couple afternoons a week? She could entertain the children, while you have a needed break, or get other things done. She'll also work more enthusiastically and cheaper than an adult.
I say this, because that's while I did after school. 3 days a week, from 3-6, I entertained their daughter, so her mother could catch up on chores, read a book, breathe, walk the dog, run errands, whatever she wanted/needed to do.
Ask the local guidance counselor to help you. Look for someone interested in early childhood or education.
The other answers are great about how to get your house back, but.......
PLEASE don't homeschool your kids unless you are fully trained in special education and speech pathology. You are not trained to handle their special needs and they will suffer as a result. They need to have intervention with people who know what they are doing. It's clear you don't know how to handle their behavior now, and it will only get worse without the proper help.Chaos on the homefront..HELP!?
wall-of-text
its easy to get overwhelmed when you have kids and a family to take care of
but maybe you should not be on the computer and get some of that taken care of or take a nap or something
and tell your husband if he has a problem with the house then he can deal with it because you have more important priorities than being his little wifey who makes everything perfect. and stop doing things for him! if he runs out of clean clothes and doesnt want to live in a mess then he will eventually do it himself
Your kids aren't even school aged yet (4, 2 and 2 mo), so you have a couple of years to get caught up on your housework. You need to get to the doc to see what your health problems are, sounds to me like you just need someone to help you prioritize things. Sounds like you're all over the place. Focus.
I have been where you are, only my husband did not make comments about my appearance. It can be so overwhelming it seems unmanageable. Here is what I did to gain control. First I started with my kids rooms. I bought toy bins and got their rooms organized. Then I gated them in the room while I cleaned the rest. I took it one room a day, and just keep at laundry every day. If your son is mean to your daughter gate them in their own rooms. Once their rooms were organized they loved playing in there. And every evening before dinner or bed we cleaned their rooms. It is very important to stay up on the area you already cleaned. They are old enough to help clean their own rooms. Another important step is to stop beating yourself up. Get up and change it and you will feel better about yourself.
As far as discipline goes just keep at it, at their age it can seem they will never understand but in time they will. Make sure you follow through with your threats or they will never listen.
As far as homeschooling goes, I agree with your husband. First of all it would give you a much needed break from the kids. Everyone needs a break, it does not make you a bad person. Second public schools have so many resources for kids with special needs, especially at elementary level.
Just keep at it a room a day. Once it is under control you and your kids will feel so much better and I bet their frustration level with go down as well. Kids feed off our emotions even when we try to hide them.
Once it is under control sit down and have a talk with your husband about the way he is treating you. It has to be frustrating for him, but that does not mean he should be verbally abusing you.
If your blood sugar is that out of control, make sure you eat often. I think you should talk to your doctor about getting on antidepressants as well. It does not have to be forever, but long enough to get you back on your feet.
First off, have one day a week where your children are out of the house completely, like a day with their father. You can get caught up on the housework, and have a much needed vacation. Take your autistic child and your daughter who has verbal apraxia to a speech and language pathologist she/he will help the situation A LOT! Also, tell your husband it's a hard time for you and you need his support and explain that someday he can do some housework also. For your son thats ruff with your daughter, when he does this do what he did to your daughter to him (but MUCH MUCH MUCH lighter) he'll get the message that it's uncomfortable and he won't do it again. Take 10 min a day to just meditate and take deep breathes it will calm you down.
ok, you need to take a deep breath. get your health under control, then focus on your relationship. you will have to make compromises, just like he will. homeschooling is alot in itself, homeschooling a special education needs child on top of everything is going to be a challenge. decide if you are up to it, then tap your community resources. yeah, you just really need some help.
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