Nanny problems with special needs son?

My son is on the Autism Spectrum diagnosed with PDD-NOS he does not understand a lot of verbal communication and is still non-verbal. I have been looking for a nanny to help me out a few days a week so I can get house stuff done. A lot of the woman applying want to bring their toddlers along. I think it's great but it would not work with my son. My son is hyperactive and because he is delayed in communication he would not understand if another child had to be changed or needed to eat. At public places he would just take off and I really need someone who can be one on one with him due to his special needs. I said this in the ad but some women really insist that their child is calm and can handle going with my sons agenda.



How can I explain to these mothers that it would not work out in a way they understand. A lot of people don't realize what a child on the spectrum can be like and I feel like when I try to explain he sounds more horrible then he is or they just don't get it. Also a lot of the nannies say they can do arts and craft with him and picnics or whatever and I try to explain that he won't just sit and do anything like that but people are so use to normal toddlers.Nanny problems with special needs son?
As with everything it's an issue of experiment %26amp; balance.



I something have to wonder what People actually think of when they hear about disabilities like the Autism Spectrum. Because some of their approaches are beyond just "inappropriate".



Yea there is a chance that another child may be compatible, BUT I'd be concerned of the Nanny/Mother's priorities in a crisis - MORE so when in such a crisis Spectrum kids needs a lot of help. As well as what happens if the Spectrum child has a meltdown.



A cynical part of me is tempted to suggest maybe you should ask if they're prepared to sign something to protect you from a lawsuit should their child get hurt.



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Simply tell them you are looking to hire someone to spend one on one time with your child. If they try to insist there child would be fine too just say I'm sorry but your not quite what I am looking for.

As for the crafts, explain that he won't follow instructions and probably wouldn't be interested in crafts, if they want to try anyways oh well they'll learn quickly that he's not going to do it.

I would put in your ad that you are looking for someone who has experience with children with autism or other developmental disorders.Nanny problems with special needs son?
Well, the things your son has difficulties with are the things he needs to be working on. I have worked with children on the spectrum ranging from PDD to severely autistic that by school age and beyond have no idea how to play appropriately, engage with peers, etc because of the social deficiencies they face. Working in behavior modification it was always my jobto take these kids to the park, prompt play with peers, role play, etc. so that they can learn these skills. Many times we take these skills for granted when a child on the spectrum really needs extra help developing them.



So long as your child is not too aggressive toward sthe other children it would be great for them to get that interaction. And I would push the arts and crafts as well. What are the alternatives? A child with ASD should not be left in "their world" where stemming, etc could actually caus ethem to regress.



I would just make sure whatever nanny you look at has worked with children on the spectrum just so they know how to interact, prompt, and understand that its not the child but this diagnosis that is causing the delays.



Good luck, I know how hard it is.
I am a Mum of 4 and I have been a Nanny before I had my children.



You do need a Nanny who can be one on one with your Son.

And someone experienced in his condition.



So, you have to say this in your advert.

And if someone rings up. Ask them for their qualifications. If they don't have them.

Then don't interview them.

It may be very difficult to find the right person, in your local area.

You might be better with a live-in Nanny.

You can advertise in 'The Lady' magazine.

However, you get what you pay for, so it depends on your finances.



You are the best person to look after your Son.

Why don't you get a cleaner instead?

To do all the household chores for you.

Leaving you time for your Son.

Make sure they are not bringing children with them.

There are probably many Mothers whose children are at school all day.

That would be able to clean for you.Nanny problems with special needs son?
Speaking as someone who has experience with autistic children- unless they've cared for someone on the spectrum before, they will never fully understand what you are trying to tell them

Don't waste your time trying to teach someone unexperienced how to handle your son and his needs, advertise specifically for someone who knows how to approach a child with autism, someone with experience

This may cost a bit extra, if you can afford it then it is the best option



If you can not afford someone with experience then perhaps hire a cheap cleaner to take care of the house while you take care of your son

Even a local teenager can do your dishes or your laundry while you work with your son



The only other option I know of is to find another mother who has a child with autism, and set up a trade service with her

I've known some mothers to do this, and it works out well if the mother's are both patient and communicate with one another about their children's needs

What happens is, you take your children out somewhere together, like a public park

They obviously don't play together, but just get them used to being side by side and get them each used to the other mother's presence

Once they are finally comfortable with being around each other and the other mother (this may take a few visits) then one mother can take both the children while the other mother does some cleaning, and then the next day they switch roles so the first mother can get some cleaning done while the second mother takes a shift with the kids

This ONLY works if you can make it part of both the kid's routines (routine is very important- if both mothers are stay at home moms then meeting up for an hour a day can be great for mothers and children alike), and it also only works if both mothers are patient



Whatever you decide: good luck!

Autism is draining- build yourself a solid support network, and make time for yourself in your child's routine- over the years, this will be very important to your sanity