Son diagnosed with autism?

We got a second opinion that also backed up the PDD-NOS diagnose. Yesterday everything was finalized with early intervention and he will begin his classes and ABA therapy on the 22nd.



Other than that I don't really know what to do. I don't know what to do with these feelings of anger and sadness. I don't know if I should or shouldn't tell friends and family.

The two friends I have told (They both teach children with special needs) took it two very different ways. One took it really hard and told me I need to grieve and that all my feelings are valid which really PISSED me off that she was making it sound like the worst possible news. The other PROMISED me everything was going to be ok, that we caught it really early so in the future we probably wouldn't even notice it. This ALSO pissed me off because I felt like she was giving me false hope.

In conclusion anything anyone has to say is really pissing me off in a very irrational manner.

So I don't know if I should just get it over with, if saying anything is a bad idea in general or if maybe I should give it some time to adjust before answering questions.

Uhg... and my mother... there is a migraine waiting to happen.... =/Son diagnosed with autism?
I remember when my son was diagnosed. I wasn't really surprised because I KNEW something was wrong but I still had moments where I did grieve the child I wished for when I was pregnant. (you know the athletic, popular, intelligent, perfectly behaved child who never gives his parents any trouble. Ah, ignorance is bliss That child doesn't exist!) The thing is whatever you are feeling is perfectly normal. If you aren't "grieving that is OK. If you are relieved that is OK too. Just understand that those feelings might come up later...and that is normal, too.



Autism is serious stuff but it is not the end of the world. There are no guarantees, even if you caught it early. I can understand the frustration you are feeling with your friends. They just don't understand because they don't have a child with Autism. You might want to consider joining a parent support group. The members WILL understand because they are traveling the same road as you. I know the group I attended in the year after dx was very helpful to me.



Your child could improve to the point that "nobody can tell" or he could be seriously disabled no matter what treatments he receives. He is very young and you just won't know until he is older. You are doing the right thing by getting treatment now. Work with him as much as possible at home, but remember he is still a little boy and make time just to play.
I think its ok to tell friends and family so that they will accept it rather than they will know it on some people. And you don't need to worry because as long as your son acts normal then there will be no problem with it. There are many ways on how to deal behavior having this syndrome. I have here a link that maybe can help you. It provides advices, tips, guides on behavioral solutions. Hope this one will work for him.Son diagnosed with autism?
I think, you need to have the feelings you are having right now. IT is not an easy thing to hear and any parent would be feeling the same way as you are...very confused! shocked! and not know what the future brings for your child. You really cant help the way you are feeling but, talking to others, telling people, educating yourslef is the best thing you can do for you and your child. Why keep it a secret? I would maybe wait untill you are more OK and more educated, untill he has started therapy and you know what to do and how to handle things. Therapy...if you find you don't care for his therapist or that in a few months they arent helping...request another one...keep at it untill you find someone that IS helping your son. My son was in EI, we went found the right therapist on the third try.

I think you need to talk to other parents with children with PDD-NOS, in person(a help group inyour area) or find an online help group. At first, maybe an online help group would be good for you, read through the threads, ask questions and get answers from people who are dealing with chidren your childs age and with the same issues. Talking may not be what you want to do now but really, it will help you see you are not alone and there is support out there for YOU.
Since everything people are saying to you pisses you off...you are pissed off, that is OK and how you are feeling. Now, you can stay pissed off but you should start talking and telling people about it, that will help you get it all out and start dealing with it which will be the best thing for your son.
As one of your friends said..it is good they found it early so he can learn how to deal with himself and with the right therapy will be OK! fight..fight..fight, i would embrase this(when you are done grieving) and get him all the help you can now so he can thrive and be the best he can be...that is what all parents, well I do, wish for my kids, to be the best they can be. I have 2 very different children, one.."typical"i hate saying that! and one with "issues" hate saying that also. my son has anxiety issues that are very hard to deal with but I do and am doing my best to help him deal with himself and learn to live with his anxiety. He also has sensory issues which are SOOO much better because of therapy and me helping him.(I think????) you never know if they will "grow out of it" or not so, my feelings are to just get them help, if they need it fantastic, if they don't or didn't..no harm done.
I wish you the best and everything will be OK..it is what it is and all we can do is deal with it in the best way possible becoming stronger becasue of it.

This may really piss you off or not..but my kids are both in elementry school..kindergarden and 2nd grade. In my sons class..2nd grade there are 4 children who without a doubt have issues, I think 2 of them have a form of Autism but I an not a doctor...i have researched alot(i thought my son may have had it at a young age) Those parents...didn't do the right thing, ignored signs and let it go. Now there kids are suffereing, not doing well and cant really deal with alot of things they would be able to deal with if they had gotten help earlier in there short lives. Parents who ignore, pretend it isn't there, think it will go away in time....Those parents PISS me off! You may be pissed off, angry, sad, upset, want to throw something through the window but, you are aware, accept it, did the right thing by getting the second opinion. Your son is lucky..very lucky because he has a good Mother.
Your feelings are normal. Your two friends each gave advice and reactions from complete opposite views of the situation which at the very least is confusing! Also, sometimes sadness and stress are more easily expressed with anger and that may explain some of the "irrational anger" you feel. That too, is normal.
Give yourself a little time to process all your feeling and everything going on and when you are ready then figure out who and how you will tell them and all the details. If you feel ready tomorrow, then tell them then and if you feel unsure and super stressed at the thought of telling them then wait a few more days.
It really seems that however misguided their attempts were, your friends still had your best interest at heart and meant well. If you can think of someone to tell who might have more of a 'middle ground' view of the situation and could be supportive of you, then you might feel more comforted by telling and talking things over with them first and maybe getting some advice on who or how to tell next.
Also, I'm really sorry about the autism diagnosis. Of course, that is never something that you and your son should have had to deal with. I'm not sure I would "grieve" over the diagnosis because that makes things sound hopeless which is not true. Things are NOT hopeless, at all. And I don't think anyone should "promise you everything will be fine", because there will be challenges along the way even if things do end up very good. But, I will tell you that early intervention is best so you're already on the right track and the fact that he is still young is really in his favor. Because he's young he's more likely to make geater strides in time and with therapy, so try really hard to remain positive okay.
Try to remember that our job as a parent is just to help our kids reach their personal best, and that hasn't changed even though, the circumstances have. It might help you out a lot to reach out to other parents of children who are going through the same thing and to get some advice and comfort through a support group. God bless.Son diagnosed with autism?
Believe me, hon, its something you never really "get over"



You will learn how to deal with Autism while you are still learning your son. You will love him no differently than you ever did although you will have plenty of frustrating times with him. If he is your only child you will have some times when you question yourself a LOT wondering if you are doing "the wrong thing" or having incorrect expectations or "what would life be like with a neuro-typical kid?"



It doesn't matter. Follow his therapy, learn all you can, join some support groups (my favorite ones are online but there's plenty in real life that have face-to-face meetings too) and maybe even talk to a therapist some to sort out your feelings.



Yes, getting the news is tumultuous but its NOT the end of the world and as frustrating as Autism can be to deal with you will deal with it fine so long as you focus on what's important; helping your son.



Some kids progress amazingly well and some kids, not so much. Either way, you will love your child just fine, you will do what's right and things will progress. Autistic kids don't sit in a vacuum, they grow and learn too, just differently and maybe slower. You CAN handle it. There's good days and there's bad days and sometimes there's fantastic days.
Give your self sometime to adjust. You will likely have many emotions about all this-- anger, sadness, hope and perhaps some relief that you have an answer now. And probably even other emotions.

I don't know what you are going through. But I did work in the special ed department of a middle school for a while.. So I worked with some autistic kids from time to time. And I worked with many other kids with a myriad of other disabilities. And I can tell you that there are some great therapies for all levels of autism. And some kids respond better than others. And some it just takes time to figure out what works best for that child. But all kids do progress.

But just like any other unwanted or unexpected change in life, it does take time for all this to sink in. And for you to get used to it. But you will. Just don't tell yourself you need to respond in any certain way. Because there is no right or wrong answer for how you show be feeling and dealing with this right now.

Take care.