Lately I have been feeling lost with my only child's diagnosis of Autism.?

My only child was diagnosed with Autism PDD/NOS when he was just 2 and now at 7 I feel lost on where to turn. He has been seeing a new counselor/behavior therapist and things were going fine for months and then the behavior therapist was like you need to set boundaries for him or he will never learn which I had tried but it is harder for a child with Autism to understand certain social situations. So I did everything he suggested which most of it I was and he is like u have to be consistent which one can only do so much as each day is different for my son. Then there was one point the counselor said that he had tried everything and so had I so he wanted to meet with my son more one on one. Seemed to help for a bit.



Then what throws me for a loop is someone I was talking to said he doesn't understand the things that the are being asked of him in regards to boundaries and so forth. So now I am beginning to feel like it is all me and maybe I am not what he needs and that hurts me to think that. Before all of this he was totally out of control and is a little better but shouldn't my son know and for me to teach him social acceptable behavior as someone might not take to kindly to the things he does.



I feel so sad and lost and he is my only child and I do not know what is typical and not so typical for a child. I remember the one specialist at the hospital told me when my son was 3 that it will be very hard for you to determine what he is doing as typical and not typical.



I have no idea anymore of where to go on this.He is having a hard time in school with some sensory things and I have not had much help from the special education department as they told me he was not eligible for an IEP cause he is not having any academic problems but would be under a 504 plan and that was not even gonna happen as he was not exhibiting signs of concerns for them. Well he is having a hard time in the classroom and says he wants to come home or not go to school cause he can't rock to sooth himself. He is supposed to be having sensory breaks which he is not getting.

I am checking into a different school for him that deals specifically with children on the spectrum but this school he goes to now I was told by several people was great for kids with Autism.



Please don't judge me for my thoughts and feelings as this is very emotional for any parent and I really could use some insight on this and to know I am not alone in all of what I said and if anyone has had any similar experience with what I said and how did you get through it.Lately I have been feeling lost with my only child's diagnosis of Autism.?
most of the group won't judge you - we would like to help you, sincerely we would



just me is correct - the autistic diagnosis doesn't guarantee an IEP - maybe a 504



we might need to know a bit more about what you son is doing/exhibiting to give you a really good answer



but mom managed to raise me (asperger) she says the best advise any of the multiple doctors of all various degrees gave her was from a very aged pediatrician - he said to her, with your type of son, absolute consistency is a must, think of it this way, train him like you would your dog, repeat, repeat, repeat, discourage wrong behavior and encourage good behavior, no talking - just action, a treat when he is good and a spanking when he is bad, end of the subject



worked real well - when i was younger i was incapable of discerning all the lecturing that other children would listen to - i couldn't figure it out - now with the med load i'm on and moms training i function fairly well - might even be considered normal - most folks don't know unless they are toldLately I have been feeling lost with my only child's diagnosis of Autism.?
not eligible for an iep is total horseshit. im also not on board with this counselor that expects your son to grasp these concepts of what is and isnt socially acceptable at 7 years old. firstly, he's 7 years old. secondly, he's autistic, not grasping those concepts is the major theme, and for some, will continue through-out life. you said he's doing a little better, any progress is still progress and you can feel good about that.
you do have to be consistent, but there are times when you have to choose your battles and times when the stress of enforcing said "boundary" will be worse than the act itself. your his mother, you know him better than any counselor, doctor or teacher. sometimes you might not know the language or terminology, but you know what you know and dont let these people make you feel poorly about your parenting or your relationship with your son. some people made me feel like that early on, mines 10 now and its still getting better. and some days it really sucks.

but you know, I never knew I was suppose to be devastated after her diagnosis. I saw news programs with parents that felt like life was ended as they knew it, people I knew tried to comfort me, I didnt understand where they were coming from. why did I need comforting? she was the same kid that day as the day before. they just put a name to what I already knew about her.

you should check into autism advocates in your area, just do a search, theyre pretty common groups through-out the nation. they can help you with this iep business, though I still would be hesitant to send my kid to a school that obviously has no experience and probably no qualified teachers. ...maybe thats why they dont want to offer the iep?

*if this school is so great with kids with autism then I would ask why they wont implement an iep to a child that has a diagnosis?

**also, when I had problems with the school a few years go, I skipped the admin at the school level and went directly to the director it the "ESE Dept". (they may call it something different where you live. That woman was very helpful, she made things actually happen when the people at the school didnt know what to do. ..me freaking out and telling her I felt like calling the local news station about their school trying to suspend an autistic child for acting autistic probably didnt hurt either ;)Lately I have been feeling lost with my only child's diagnosis of Autism.?
it is true that some kids with high functioning autism are NOT eligible for an IEP...

but academics isn't the only issue.....if his behavior is disruptive in class or inanyway inappropriate for school, he could be eligible..
if he can not participate in class and only gets good grades on homework and tests, he maybe eligible--the school should have a way of grading more than straight academics. In a school near me they have a lot of non academic skills listed.

what exactly are the problems he is exhibiting?
I was surprised at the amount of autism-related literature available at my local library. If you do not have a health plan totally paying for everything, you may wish to check some out, and begin reading. You may come to a greater understanding of what the counselors are talking about, or form other ideas of what is best for your son.



You may also wish to join some of the autism-support organizations, such as GRASP.