Nobody knows your kids like you. Nobody knows the specific issues your Aspergers and PDD-NOS kids have like you do. Nobody knows how often your 1 yr old climbs in with you anyway or how well she does in your room. So nobody here can come close to saying what *you* should do.
That said... we have a *tiny* three bedroom house with four kids (13, 6, 4.5, and 3yrs) and are expecting our fifth. My oldest has Aspergers and we suspect the 3 yr old may as well. So far the 6 yr old is the only girl.
One bedroom is so small we just used it as a 'computer room' for years and put all the kids in the biggest bedroom... but the youngest actually slept with us. But with the oldest being so much older we finally moved him into that room alone last year. Now the others still have the big room and the new baby will be sharing with us.
With your boys being so close in age... I personally like the idea of giving them the big room and 'splitting' it for them. However... I don't have a clue what sort of Aspie issues you are having between the two of them. That would be the deciding factor to me. If they really *need* their space and the little girl likes sharing your room... that would simply make more sense for you. But if they are only asking for their own room and not really showing signs of *needing* it... I think I'd leave them.
i would leave the rooms set up as they are. you don't want your daughter developing bad sleeping habits from being moved back into your room (this happened to me recently with my little girl being moved back into my room) and later on the boys will have to share again when your daughter is a little older. You won't want to share with your daughter forever and she won't want to share with one of the boys.
Is your son wanting his own room because of a particular reason? or just because he is getting bigger and likes the idea of his own room. I think most kids dream of having their own room but in reality, while you are a kid you hate it, when you are an adult you usually have good memories of sharing with your sibling don't you?
I obviously don't know what your son is like but i have a lot of experience with aspergers and autistic children and as long as there isn't some pressing reason for why he wants his own room then i would just continue to make him share. aspergers or not, at the end of the day, you are the adult that makes the decisions and he is still the child. You have to make a decision that will work for the whole family, not just for him.Should my oldest child with Aspergers or baby have their own room?
what we did when we had three kids was give the boys our bedroom... that way is was really big for them and they felt special having so much space... DH and i didn't need a room that big, all we do is sleep in there... so the boys really liked that... we had a divider up for them too to split the room in two... and our daughter stayed in her own room...
The DD may only be 1 now but she's going to grow up soon and then where will her room be? She shouldn't be in your room past age 2, IMO. Then you are going to deal with the drama of making them share a room again. Unless you have immediate plans to buy a bigger home then leave well enough alone.Should my oldest child with Aspergers or baby have their own room?
I think the ASD boy would need his own room by now, and Loch - shut up, just shut up.
I would suggest that your two boys share the biggest room available and that you design it so that it is divided into two distinct parts, dividers such as shelves and room dividers can help create the idea of two spaces, if there is enough room, so that each child can express their own style. Give both boys the power to make decisions in the room. You do not have to turn over complete control, but they need to feel like they are a part of something as special as designing their bedroom, which will hopefully make them happier about sharing.
There are many benefits to having siblings share a bedroom, and parents can ensure that the sharing will go well by making sure fair rules are established for the room-sharing and by turning the experience of setting up a shared bedroom into a fun project that the siblings can complete together. Allow them to be the ones to figure out how space will be shared, how toys will be stored, what furniture will be used, and how the walls will be decorated. Talking things through to reach an agreement about each of these issues will help siblings learn to cooperate and work together to reach a shared goal.
Allow the boys to work through problems on their own as much as possible. However, to set the project up for success, parents should provide siblings with the tools they will need to complete it and check in from time to time to make sure that neither child is being too bossy and that issues are being decided fairly. Before letting them loose to plan, you should hold a discussion to get them thinking about what the room will be used for and how it can be divided fairly
Energy that might otherwise be spent bickering is then hopefully channeled toward a positive common goal. A few links with ideas on shared bedrooms.
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