Thank you very much, I just want to know this so I can be more helpful to the people I work with.Telling children that they have an autism spectrum disorder?
My parents always kept the truth from me. They deny things to this very day. I hate it.
For instance, My mom allowed me to believe that my step dad was my father from age 1 until age 8.
She told me because I was acting out in response to noticing the differences between how my younger brother was treated by his "real father"
What ended up happening here is my mom told me all about HER negative point of view about my "real father" which caused me to develop bad eyesight. I needed glasses 3 years after I was told that I would probably have bad eyes like him.
Anyways. My mom doesnt like to talk about me being "broken" she wont believe it, even though I have always been treated "special" like being set up with friends who were younger than me and likely also on the spectrum.
My little brother arranged things and set up social situations for me to be in. I hated all of it. It was like they were silently frowning on my normal everyday existence. I am not good enough on my own.
I experience depression and low self esteem. I set myself up for failure over and over because of the traumatic events associated with my asperger's.
I met my father for the first time at age 23 and I dont know why. I never "wanted to" and I remember being influenced.
People take advantage of my open subconcious that begs to meet everyones expectations of me, whether good or bad.
RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN LIKE THEY ARE YOUR EQUALS BECAUSE THEY ARE.
Autism is not a disorder. It is a diversity. We think differently, not wrongly. We act differently, even strange in an unusual, or unfamiliar sense, but our actions have reasons too, like Neurotypical people. We need your warmth and understanding. Your patience and wisdom. And above all your acceptance of us for exactly who we are.
Stop looking to cure or prevent us.
Diversity is the nature of life
it should be reasonable that life would diversify all aspects of being, and not just physical traits.
my son's autism is so severe he does not understand he has autism.Telling children that they have an autism spectrum disorder?
My son is almost 5, and he already knows he's autistic,even if he doesn't really know what that means. This IS a disorder, it interfers with his normal ability to understand, comprehend things. He doesn't understand why his friends don't want to play with him because he acts like a 2 yr old instead of a 4 yr old. He is oversensitive to a number of emotions, he tantrums, etc. Maybe things will be better for him when he's an adult, but right now, I wouldn't be a good mom if I just let him be, as some suggest. So, I made the decision when he was two that we would not keep it a 'dirty little secret'. I wanted him to know from day one why he has these problems, why he is different from kids his age, etc. I talk about it very openly in front of him, and he got to the point a few weeks ago of asking me in his broken vocabulary if he cries all the time because of autism. It helps him because I babysit a 2 yr old with autism, and he's more severely affected than my son is. So when he asks why Kris is doing something, I tell him it's because he has autism, and it's ok, he's fine. So, he gets to see that he's not alone, that although he is 'different' in his abilities and how he handles things, there's nothing wrong with him. To me, it would be the same thing as a child that's adopted. If they're told from day one then they grow up with it, without the resentment that follows of 'why didn't you tell me, I always knew there was something different about me.' This way, it's treated more as normal that something that we're ashamed of, which we're not. I do teach him to cope with his problems and to learn self-control, and he's doing just fine with it. He truly is an amazing little boy and I wouldn't trade him for the world! I just feel that I owe it to him to know why he is a little different, so that he can learn that it's nothing bad. We are very open with him about every person's differences, whether in wheelchairs or anything else, so this is no different to me.
I was very mixed up about my dx of Asperger's/Autism. I was 14 and thought autism was as bad as a death sentence. I became very depressed and confused. Nobody bothered to tell me what my dx meant. After it was explained to me very well, I realized it wasn't a terrible thing, it just explained a lot of things I already did. I now have no shame or hopelessness about my condition. In fact I'm happy, because I know why I've always been "special". One book I think every kid who gets dxed with ASDs should get is Different Like Me. (link below) It's a really neat book about famous people with Asperger's/Autism. It's hard to read that book and still think autism is so terrible!Telling children that they have an autism spectrum disorder?
I respect your work and what you do! I may have a difference of opinion on this subject though. I am a psy/special ed. major and mother of four children. My second oldest (7yrs) child has autism. I will say this; all of these children know that there is something different about them. If or when the child asked what is wrong with them you answer. If they child does not ask, then do not push. These children may not seem to be receptive, but throughout conversations parents have in front of them they probably all ready know. There are things we do different for my son in our family, but when it comes down to it, he is treated the same as the rest. Punishment and all. There is no excuse for bad behavior. They more we have pushed that the more he stays in line. What is amazing is he gets it better than my typical children. When I explain things to him on his level, he is amazingly logical. Sometimes his disability works in his advantage. The stupid things children his age will tend to do, he finds no logic in. The less we focus on autism in our home, the more he seems to progress. I really believe in focusing on the positive in every child no matter the disability. The best therapy for my child is my four year old daughter. She has gotten him to do things we never thought were possible. She has no idea what is doing for her brother. Before he never did pretend play, until she came along. He adores her, and she loves him to death. My focus is accentuating the positive in the child, and punishing all of the children the same for the same undesirable behavior.
At first I will point out the fact that it is called Asperger's Syndrome and it is not a disorder but a diversity as one of the other answers said.
I would recommend you read a book written by Tony Attwood: "Asperger's Syndrome - A Guide for Parents and Professionals".
There is not an age "cut-off" but I think there is definitely a maturity level needed for a child to be able to understand what the diagnosis means. There's a book I read a review of written by the mother of a boy with asperger's...I wish i could remember the name of it...but what she describes is telling him in pre-adolescence and she said it made a world of difference to him to be able to understand why he doesn't fit in and kind of normalize his differences.
i was a late diagnosis (early 20's) but i have to say: yes, yes YES tell the child! tell them as early as possible, and TEACH them about the condition. but teach them the truth:
autism is NOT a bad thing. it is not a disease, it is a difference. and while it is one that will cause them problems in life, they should be proud of who they are.
My opinion is biased, but I would say a definite yes, before they begin junior high school.
My family went to great efforts to hide it, to the point of rejecting all help from the school. I always knew something was different about me but the family was tight-lipped. I did not find out until I was diagnosed in my 30s and requested old school records. Needless to say, my high school and college years could have been so different had I known.
Take it as an extreme example of how -not- to handle it.
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