Help! My kids dad no longer wants kids!?

I don't know what to do. My oldest is 12 and youngest is 10. We've been divorced for 10 years since youngest was a baby. He left me for his current wife.



My ex told my daughter that his grandmother was having a bday party this week and said he'd pick her up on Wed. She later learned the party wasn't til Sat. She didn't understand why he wanted to get them on Wed.

She didn't want to go on Wed. She and my other daughter have always been afraid to tell him things. Don't know why and this has been an ongoing issue.

I have told my ex that he needs to make all plans with me and not the kids and he continues not to do so.



Wed. I told him that they don't want to go until Thurs. He called my oldest daugther and told her he was upset with her and went on about it and told her that he would not pick her up until Fri.

Then called and told me he'd get them Thurs. I told him that he is not going to play this game and manipulate her and since he told her he couldn't get her until Fri. then that's when he may get them. He called me and went off on me. I told him that I have had this same conversatoin with him for 10 years and nothing changes. I reminded him how I have told him from day 1 he has to build a relationship with them that involves trust, love, security etc. and he has not done so. I suspect this is why kids don't feel comftorable telling him things. He told me I needed medication and that he is making our oldest the leader becasue my home doesn't have a leader and all this ridiculous stuff. I told him that if he causes them emotional harm then he would have to loose some visits

Mind you...my oldest has threatened suicide and is seeing a counselor. She also has PDD NOS and struggles with social skills and communication etc.



Thurs. he sent a txt asking to get them and I ignored txt. We met and he was way out of line through out the meeting. I calmly said this is inappropriate and we should wait and discuss things when he is calm.

Then he started crying and saying that his feelings were hurt that daughters didn't want to go with him on wed. and that they will not talk to him etc. Totally put on the guilt trip on our kids. Then he said that they will not go with him and he will not visit them until they will communicate openly with him.

My kids are devistated. THe started crying and he really left them.



I don't know if he'll ever come back or contact them again? I don't understand what is going on or what to do?

Did I do something wrong? I hate this for my girls. THey are so broken hearted and they feel guilty and I don't know what to do.

I told themt his is not their fault and told them that he loves them. I feel so helpless and so confused at the same time.



Today he called and wanted to have meeting with me and kids. I said as long as he didn't say anything inappropriate that would be fine.Help! My kids dad no longer wants kids!?
It's certainly true that you can't force someone to be a good parent. He is obviously immature and unable to understand how to be a good parent. He seems selfish and self-centered, and you cannot expect anyone to be understanding and open when they are like that.



You should ask your girls if he ever yells at them, calls them names and/or ridicules them or what they say. One reason they don't want to talk to him might be that he is psychologically abusing them, probably without even understanding what he is doing. If he is abusing them you can take court action.



If he isn't, and he's just being a douche bag, the only thing you can do is provide emotional support to your girls and let them understand their father is a human being like any other, with faults and who makes mistakes. And just as you did, don't let him play with them.



Set the record straight that from now on all plans go through you. They are under age and won't make their own decisions about when to go. He needs to run by you his plans and give you days and times, otherwise, no deal.



I would also advise you to start a diary of all these occurrences so that you have a record in case you do need to go to court.Help! My kids dad no longer wants kids!?
wall-of-text



anyways, you cant force someone to be a good parent and see their kids. you CAN get child support but thats about it.



he said he wants to have a meeting with you so why dont you wait until then to figure out what the deal is. there is nothing you can do until then.

and i cant see into the future so i dont really have an answer for you. just wait and see.



also, you should REALLY see a counselor. you seem too emotionally unstable to be trying to comfort kids in this situation. it sounds to me like you are upsetting them more than their dad because YOU are openly upset about it. i also think there is a tad bit overdramatics going on here. so for the sake of the kids - see a professional.