I struggle talking to people in conversation because im too different..... any tips?

i have pdd-nos(autism), have social anxiety disorder, and probably have an auditor processing disorder. It makes it hard enough for me to talk to people in the first place, but since i dont understand what people are talkin about, im left alone as a loner. im into mostly sports and tv comedies, im afraid of dramas and movies for some reason, they just make me anxious. i also have obsessions with certain things, e.g. if i watch a video online and i like it ill want to watch it everyday for the rest of my life. also, i love being by myself and with my thoughts. i could shoot hoops and ride my bike by myself for hours. in fact, i can play tennis by myself. i just go up to the high school 2 blocks away from home and hit serves for 2 hours. id rather do that then talk to people. but, in school, at least, i have to social or ill just be sitting there during lunch just eating by myself with everyone defining me as the weird kid. i hate being judged in a bad way. i no i would've been judged that way even if i had friends but this is worse. its like im close to being killed in school. every day when i went in i tried my best academically(i do great, i get a 4.08 GPA)but sometimes i get hounded fom people about certain situations that happen to me during the school day. for example, if someone makes a useless joke about me, i used to take it literally, then i started to curse at them, then tried to ignore it. none of them worked and i realized i was just the dumb kid. i then started to see a therapist who wanted to get me in a social skills group[ for people that have the same problem. it proved to be too overwhelming for me, so eventually i had to seek individual therapy, which didnt make it a whole lot better for me socially. soon after, i got the diagnosis of pdd nos and social anxiety disorder. now, im heading into the 9th grade at the same school with some of the same kids(i went to a 6-12 private school and was there for grades 6-8). if youre still reading this, thanx for reading. point is, im scared of talking to people. in fact, i almost cried at freshman orientation today when we were told that we needed to build friendships. also, im too different to be a legit member of a group. plus, even when i try to talk to people at school, i am immediately rejected probably because they're not used to me talking to people. anyway, thank you if you read this and if you have any advice or tips, please answer. ABSOLUTELY NO RUDE ANSWERS!!!!I struggle talking to people in conversation because im too different..... any tips?
You sound terrific. I think you'd be a lot of fun to be friends with.

The main obstacle is probably the anxiety. Taking medication and continuing in therapy can help you relax and learn from social situations. Fear is the enemy of learning. People with PDD-NOS can develop social skills if they want to, and are willing to be flexible, but you've got to get the anxiety levels down first.

I suggest looking for another social skills group, or even revisiting the first one once the anxiety is better under control. My son has had terrific results from Prozac and counseling for this. He's got AS and HFA (fits qualifications for both). He's also Bi-Polar and has a language processing disorder, and ADHD, which he can't take medicine for because it aggravates the BiPolar Disorder.

My son was in an Asperger's group in Middle school and is now starting high school in behavioral program for kids with the most severe problems. There's a lock down version of it that he's not had to be in. He's doing very well. He had social training at school and with his counselor after school. It took me a while to figure out that it was silly to try to teach him to "act normal." Together we've decided to work on him developing functional social skills instead of trying to fake being "normal."

We do a lot of social dissection. We'll talk through a social situation and figure out what went wrong, and how we could have gotten the desired outcome. He's unable to read people's mood very well and takes things that are meant as a joke seriously, or something serious as a joke, jokes that are serious warnings totally confuse him. We've found cues that he can use to figure out the situation. He's smart so he can keep a lot of this stuff straight, once he knows what to look for. Of course we are pretty good at reading each other.

A lot of the time he doesn't know how to tell the difference between annoyance and fury. I'll be mad about something he's done wrong, and he'll be scared that it's a HUGE deal, when it's not. Since he's not able to get other people to learn our signals, he's learning to ask questions. It's OK to ask if someone is mad, sad, happy etc. Neurotypicals don't do it, but they don't usually need to. They can tell that you're different, and usually will be more than happy to explain what's going on if you ask.

The same thing goes for eye contact, stimms, etc. Instead of hiding those issues, be upfront. Tell someone that you need to rock back and forth sometimes to calm down, if you do. Tell them you need to avoid eye contact to be able to pay attention to them, if you do. People are afraid of the unknown and like simple explanations. You don't have to give them your whole story, just let them know the relevent bits they need right now.

I suppose this is all a lot, but in time you can develop excellent skills that will help you have friends. Both my kids in the spectrum are well liked. People know they are different but also like them. My middle son even has a little group of girls who follow him around Middle School and are trying very hard to get his attention. He's a top student, polite, and good looking. They seem quite intrigued, and are in Honors with him.

You'd fit right in around our house. Neurotypicals just got to steal the typical title because they got there first. It could just as easily been the other way around. I'll steal someone else's joke and say it could have been that what we call typicals could have Social Hyperactivity Disorder, charactarized by excessive sensitivity to social situations and inability to notice important sensory details.

PS. Nobody understands completely what it's like to be anybody else. We barely understand what it is to be ourselves much less others.I struggle talking to people in conversation because im too different..... any tips?
Great. You're a smart guy. I'm sure you can figure all this out and get your social life sorted out. It's handy that you've got a special interest that's so popular. It can stink if it's something that the people you want to be friends with are uninterested in. That's an asset.

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I struggle talking to people in conversation because im too different..... any tips?
I mean no offense my good sir, but with those pre-existing conditions it has proved difficult when talking to people already. I hope you can find someone with actual advice though.
there must be one subject that you are interested in. chess, a tv program, a sport. try a simple conversation based on that subject. speak, then listen. respond to the person. even talking about the weather will do. look for nice people. don't try talking to the jerks. that's my tip for you. best of luck.

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